27th
My cigarette post like a week ago triggered some lasting Guns ‘n Roses nostalgia, so here you go: I’m blogging “November Rain.”
0:10 Pills? Check. Weird Jesus-like bedside sculpture? Check.
0:15 Axl is actually sorta scrawny. He makes up for it with hair, though.
0:21 Aaand the orchestra is being conducted by Yanni.
0:23 Cue the girls with the big hair and Madonna’s black gloves.
0:54 Can you smoke a cigarette and play guitar at the same time? You fucking better if you want to run with G ‘n R.
1:30 OK, Axl’s got a cigarette on his piano, but he hasn’t lit it yet.
1:38 Stephanie Seymour’s dress! This in the hockey hair of early 90s couture: short in the front and long in the back, baby! And with sheer black stockings!
2:11 Slash is smoking a cigarette while he plays. That brings us up to three cigarettes so far.
2:21 The Rainbow Room. Edgy. Well, maybe it was in 1993, I dunno. I was watching “Saved by the Bell” and dreaming of a better future.
2:42 Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. We are up to eight cigarettes.
3:04 Slash is smoking in a church during a fucking wedding! Oh, and he can’t find the ring.
3:41 Now Slash is leaving the wedding even though Axl and Stephanie are still making out at the altar.
4:12 Guitar solo in front of an abandoned church in the desert. Symbolism! Awesome. And we’re up to ten cigarettes.
4:54 You know, I think he could almost figure out a way to smoke two cigarettes at once while he’s rocking out.
5:37 Guns, the sign says. Get it? 1993, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…
6:17 Cigarettes go great with wedding cake and champagne. And that’s eleven.
6:23 Twelve cigarettes. Hey, I smoked after my wedding, Steph - I’m not knocking it.
6:30 Thirteen.
6:42 Cue the rain. Now that is symbolism.
6:59 OK, OK, no matter how awesome it is there’s no fucking way that guy could trip and then fall into the wedding cake like that.
7:01 I spoke too soon about the symbolism: spilled wine pouring out like blood. You don’t need a PhD in literature to figure out what that means.
7:29 Why is there a different priest at Stephanie’s funeral? I think that dude who married them really took a shine to the whole crew, what with the tongue wrestling and smoking in church and stuff.
8:38 White flowers into red: the dawn of the age of CGI.
9:12 Is that not the best fucking video ever made?
