15th
what if dating ads were honest?
As I inch closer to my deadline for online dating I’ve been thinking about the kind of guys I’m looking to meet. Smart? Sure. Sense of humor? Yes. But what if I was really honest? Here’s what I’d have to write:
- You’re willing to listen to me bitch about how someone at work got pissy with me for coming over to talk to her about a correction on a proof instead of just e-mailing her. In detail. You’re also happy to hear my analysis of the follow-up conversation in which she seemed to be atoning for said pissiness by going into detail about her plan to see Bob Dylan perform in Prospect Park.
- You’re willing to read my 92,000 word manuscript even though you have no interest in fiction whatsoever. Probably three or four times.
- You’re willing to kill cockroaches even though you probably hate them as much as I do.
- You will have sex with me during my period.
- You have no problem with the fact that I don’t want to meet your parents. Hey, it doesn’t matter, because you’re an orphan!
